Forgiveness Through Time: Lessons from Literature, History, and Philosophy

Forgiveness Through Time: Lessons from Literature, History, and Philosophy

M. Zayed, Alexandria--

Forgiving someone who has wronged you can often feel like the most difficult task in the world. Whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or a stranger, the pain of betrayal, disrespect, or harm leaves deep scars. However, holding onto anger and resentment doesn’t protect us from future harm—it only prolongs our suffering. In reality, forgiveness is not about condoning bad behavior or excusing the person who wronged you. Instead, it is about freeing yourself from the emotional chains that tie you to the hurt. By forgiving, you let go of the toxic emotions that hold you back, allowing you to heal and move forward. In this essay, we’ll explore why forgiveness is essential for your own well-being and how literature, history, and philosophy reveal the power of this deeply personal act. 

1. What is Forgiveness? 

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as an act that excuses or minimizes the harm done. In truth, forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the weight of anger, hatred, and bitterness. It’s a conscious decision to release the emotional burden attached to the wrongdoing, without expecting anything in return from the person who caused you pain. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget the event or allow the person to hurt you again. Instead, it’s an internal process where you choose peace over prolonged suffering. 

2. Why is Forgiveness Difficult? 

Forgiving someone can feel unnatural because it often involves releasing emotions tied to justice. When we’re hurt, we instinctively want the person responsible to acknowledge their actions and face consequences. This desire for retribution can make it hard to let go of the pain. However, in many cases, waiting for an apology or expecting justice never yields the closure we seek. Instead, we are left holding onto the bitterness, which affects not only our emotional health but also our mental and physical well-being. The longer we hold onto resentment, the more we allow the person who hurt us to occupy space in our lives, even after the incident has passed. 

3. The Cost of Holding Onto Anger:

Holding onto anger and resentment feels justified, especially if the offense was serious. But what we often don’t realize is that these emotions do more harm to us than to the person who wronged us. Psychologically, resentment keeps you locked in the past, replaying the hurt over and over, which prevents you from healing. Physically, studies have shown that prolonged anger and stress increase the risk of heart disease, depression, and anxiety. Resentment, much like poison, affects the one who harbors it, not the one it’s aimed at. In holding on to the bitterness, you carry a burden that affects your peace, your health, and your overall happiness. 

4. Shakespeare and the Art of Forgiveness:

This theme of forgiveness is echoed in literature, where characters who forgive are often those who achieve true freedom. One classic example is Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Prospero, who has been wronged by his brother Antonio, initially plans to take revenge on him after gaining power over his enemies. But in the end, Prospero chooses forgiveness, declaring, “The rarer action is / In virtue than in vengeance.” By forgiving, Prospero frees himself from the anger and desire for revenge that had consumed him. His forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. In letting go of his anger, Prospero reclaims his power and moves forward with his life. This choice demonstrates how forgiveness can be a path to healing and freedom, not for the wrongdoer, but for the one who has been wronged. 

5. Nelson Mandela: Forgiveness as a Path to National Healing

A powerful example of forgiveness in history is Nelson Mandela. After being imprisoned for 27 years during apartheid in South Africa, Mandela emerged not with vengeance but with a spirit of reconciliation. He forgave the very people who had oppressed and wronged him, understanding that holding onto bitterness would only divide the nation further. His ability to forgive was not about absolving the injustices of apartheid, but about healing a fractured country. Mandela famously said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” His choice to forgive was an act of personal liberation and national leadership. By forgiving, he freed not only himself but also set the foundation for a more unified South Africa. 

6. Mahatma Gandhi: Forgiveness as Strength 

Mahatma Gandhi, another iconic figure, preached forgiveness even in the face of violence and oppression. Throughout his life, he practiced nonviolence and encouraged his followers to forgive their oppressors. Gandhi believed that forgiveness was a sign of strength, not weakness, famously stating, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” For Gandhi, forgiveness was essential for breaking the cycle of hatred and violence. His ability to forgive those who wronged him, even after they caused immense suffering, inspired a movement that reshaped the future of India and the world. His life shows how forgiveness can be a powerful tool for change, both personally and socially. 

7. The Tale of Two Wolves: A Lesson in Forgiveness 

In folklore, the concept of forgiveness is often explored through metaphors and allegories. One such tale is The Two Wolves, a story from Native American folklore. In this tale, a grandfather tells his grandson that two wolves live inside every person. One wolf represents anger, hatred, and resentment, while the other represents love, peace, and forgiveness. The two wolves are in constant battle. The grandson asks, “Which wolf will win?” to which the grandfather replies, “The one you feed.” This story highlights the simple but powerful truth that the emotions we nurture have the strongest impact on our lives. If you feed your anger, it will consume you. If you choose to forgive, you allow peace to grow within. 

8. Seneca on Anger and Forgiveness 

Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, had a profound understanding of the dangers of anger. In his essay On Anger, Seneca writes that anger is “the most hideous and frenzied of all emotions” because it clouds our judgment and consumes our reason. He believed that harboring anger was destructive to the individual, turning them into a slave to their emotions. Seneca taught that by forgiving those who wronged us, we regain control over ourselves. Forgiveness, according to him, is not about the other person but about preserving our inner peace and rationality. Anger leads to impulsive actions and can drive us to act against our better nature. Letting go of anger, through forgiveness, restores balance and clarity to our minds. 

9. Marcus Aurelius on Forgiveness and Rising Above 

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, offers profound wisdom on forgiveness in his Meditations. He frequently reminds himself not to be consumed by the actions of others, writing, “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” This Stoic perspective emphasizes that forgiveness is not about seeking revenge or changing the other person’s behavior, but about focusing on your own character. Marcus Aurelius believed that every person we meet, including those who hurt us, is acting according to their understanding of the world. He encourages us to maintain our own virtue regardless of how others behave. He writes, “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they cannot tell good from evil.” Forgiveness, for Marcus, is about accepting the imperfections of others while maintaining our own integrity. His philosophy reminds us that we cannot control what others do, but we can control how we respond. By choosing forgiveness, we protect our own peace and rise above the wrongs committed against us. 

10. Forgive for Yourself, Not for Them 

One of the most important realizations about forgiveness is understanding that it's not about the person who wronged you—it's about you. Holding onto anger, resentment, or a desire for revenge doesn't harm the other person; it only harms you. It traps you in a cycle of negativity, keeping you emotionally tied to the very person or event you're trying to move past. Forgiveness is about reclaiming your emotional and mental freedom. Like Prospero in The Tempest, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius, forgiveness allows you to step beyond the hurt and regain control over your life. It’s not an act of absolution for the person who caused the pain—it’s a decision to stop letting that pain control your thoughts and actions. 

11. Moving On for Your Own Sake 

Ultimately, forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of self-liberation. By choosing to forgive, you reclaim your inner peace, just as these figures did in their own lives. You gift yourself the opportunity to move forward, empowered and free from the chains of anger and bitterness. 

In the words of Marcus Aurelius, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” This strength comes from the ability to forgive, to rise above, and to focus on the life you want to live.